This YouTuber is crafting an alternate Command & Conquer mythos populated entirely by the weirdest guys on the internet

pcgamer.com:

After departing to Russia for experimental detox treatments in 2020(opens in new tab), Jordan Peterson returned a changed man⁠—he craves Tiberium now? And instead of «woke moralists» he really has it in for… The Brotherhood of Nod?

Riffing on a video from YouTuber Benzenas(opens in new tab) earlier this year, video maker Definitely Not Kane is pursuing a simple premise to its hilt: professional internet weirdos like Peterson, $1.5 billion-in-the-hole(opens in new tab) talking head Alex Jones(opens in new tab), and accused rapist and sex trafficker Andrew Tate(opens in new tab) all kinda talk like FMV cutscene supervillains, and you can just drop them into Command & Conquer communication screens without missing a beat.

«I believed there could be more to this and more quotes from Peterson and other famous people could fit into the cheesy but likeable, funny style of C&C's world,» Definitely Not Kane tells me. «Also, I wanted to go beyond simply using the same line over and over again and try to build a narrative for every video.»

I'm particularly fond of Definitely Not Kane's relative chart-topper, "Jordan Peterson Fires the Ion Cannon On Your Base(opens in new tab)," where the public intellectual(?) pops onscreen and remarks, «It is impossible to talk with you. You have departed from the sphere of reason and reasonable discourse.» After a couple more choice digs that sound straight out of the repertoire of Civ's nuclear-armed Gandhi and his ilk, Peterson, here representing an AI-controlled enemy player, blasts you with that Ion Cannon mentioned in the title.

They're short videos too, but not literal YouTube Shorts, something I appreciate in this era of 10-hour audio essays at one end and TikTok knockoffs on the other,