Bad Toys 3D is described by publisher Tibo Software as «a 3D first-person shooter with funny graphics and sounds.» Originally released in 1995, it's a simplistic Wolfenstein 3D knockoff that sees you exploring flat mazes of Windows screensaver-like brick walls, blasting purple pom-pom monsters with pistols and shotguns. «THE FACTORY FOR TOYS HAS BEEN BOUGHT BY THE COMPANY DELTA MILITARY SYSTEMS RECENTLY,» reads the game's blurb. «NOW IT IS OUT OF CONTROL. WHAT IS GOING ON?»
I don't know whether Bad Toys 3D is any good, although even the publishers don't seem wholly convinced by it, saying «You won't find DOOM here». What makes it fascinating for PC gamers, though, is the context in which you can buy it today. Aspointed out on X by MS-DOS gaming enthusiast Anatoly Shashkin. You won't find Bad Toys 3D on Steam, GoG, or any digital distribution service, but you can buy it direct from Tibo's own website, an experience which offers a perfectly preserved time-capsule of nineties' PC gaming.
First, there's the website itself, which looks like it has barely changed in the last twenty years. There are a couple of modern features like a contact form, but the design is distinctly early noughties. The weirdly aligned blue Arial text, the bevelled, drop-shadowed red buttons, the inexplicably tiny Jpeg thumbnails. It's a pristine relic of a bygone age, the Internet equivalent discovering an intact Roman villa in some overgrown forest. There's even a link to the shareware version of Bad Toys 3D, which Tibo states «includes 3 levels».
It isn't just the website that's decidedly old-school. The game is packaged to install on older versions of Windows, a process which further compounds the nostalgia. Shashkin highlights a point in the
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