Playing Modern Warfare 3 Reminded Me How Tough It Is to Be a Woman Online

gamepur.com:

The moment I slipped my husband’s Xbox headphones over my ears to settle in for a game of Zombies in Modern Warfare 3, my mind slid back to the first (and last) time I used in-game chat.

It was the early 2000s, and every guy I knew was obsessed with Halo. As a girl who took pride in her Super Smash Bros skills, I wanted to be good at this game, too. I wanted to beat the boys because I wanted to prove I could be a gamer, too.

The trouble was, I wasn’t good at Halo. My early forays were local play with people I knew, who might laugh at my inability to hit a moving target but who were nice enough about it. Then, I decided to borrow my brother’s account and log in for online play. That’s when I learned what it’s like to have a female voice in the online chat for a first-person shooter.

Are You A Girl?

I can’t remember if I actually tried to start a conversation or if I made an offhand comment without realizing my mic was on, but it did not take long to learn that everyone in chat would lose their minds at the sound of my 15-year-old girl’s voice.

The instant I said anything on the mic, the chat erupted with a chorus of “Are you a girl?” To be fair, in a chat full of guys who haven’t hit puberty yet, it’s probably a valid question. But the tone beneath it, the fascination mixed with something else, felt… less than great.

If I said yes, one of two things inevitably came next. Increased interest and a flurry of unwanted attention or a barrage of pointed questions about what a girl could possibly be doing playing a game like Halo. Either way, it felt like a clear reminder that I didn’t belong in this space, that I was an anomaly.

I wanted to crush them with my gameplay so they’d shut up with their questions, but that would