«When life happens,» runs the copy for Armored Core 6's new ad, «Mechless Mutual Insurance covers everything* to give you peace of mind.» The asterisk will turn out to be quite important. In scenes no Armored Core fan ever thought they'd see, the new game is being marketed with a skit starring Rainn Wilson, the American actor best-known for his role as Dwight Schrute in the Office.
It's that role being channelled here, as Wilson plays a harassed insurance clerk at Mechless Mutual, whose job mainly involves telling the owners of mechs that no, they don't cover that. As the queries and footage keep on coming in, so does Wilson's facade begin to crack, until he's weeping on the floor and praying for a good old-fashioned fender bender: something, anything, that doesn't involve mechs.
Mechless Mutual does not cover any damages, fatalities, or eventualities as caused by mechs*
*Mechs heretofore are defined as any legged or treaded** mechanical construct piloted by a legally licensed**** mech pilot, as subject to arbitration therein
**special accommodations are not extended in situations whenceforth damages, fatalities, or eventualities occur as caused by a mech which has temporarily, permanently, or permatemporarily disconnected, whether by battle or by matters of course, one or more of the mech’s legs, arms, or other pursuant armaments (hereforth referred to as “parts”)****
****legal licensure henceforth may be pursuant to audit by Mechless Mutual to determine coverage in cases where the legality of said licensure is brought under scrutiny due to incidents of piracy, theft, or illegal entry
*****Damages caused by disconnected mech parts including but not limited to being crushed by said disconnected mech parts including but
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