John's PS1 Memories | Push Square

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I was a teenager in the middle of the nineties and like any other teenage boy in the middle of the nineties I cared about just one thing and it was f****** disgusting — Sonic the Hedgehog. Yes, it’s confession time, oh readers of Push Square. Growing up I was a SEGA kid which is probably the root cause of around 85% of my neuroses. I bloody loved Sonic the Hedgehog, and played it day and night.

We didn’t have the Internet in the village I grew up in until sometime in the year 2000. This meant two things. First, I had no idea what a naked woman looked like until some time in the year 2000. Second, I had no access to video game news other than through magazines that my parents would occasionally buy for me, and those were usually fiercely on brand SEGA mags that weren’t known for painting competing consoles in a particularly flattering light.

We never had much money growing up. And so when my parents told me that they’d be buying me a new video game console it was a huge deal. All they needed to know was which of the new consoles I wanted so they could begin saving up for it. In lieu of honest video game criticism, and thanks to my love of Sonic the Hedgehog the choice was obvious. “The SEGA Saturn!” I proclaimed like a total idiot, completely unaware that I’d just made the stupidest decision of my life except for that time I gave Alan Wake a 6/10 review.

Fortunately, the universe would intervene and set me on the correct path. Our school had a yearly trip to a semi-local theme park called Lightwater Valley that was famous for a ride called The Ultimate. Some older kids were telling us youngsters about how The Ultimate was so terrifying that someone actually died from fright while riding it, and so once we got to the park and it was time to head to the rollercoaster of doom I made my excuses about the line being too long and instead headed to the safety of the arcade.

I wanted to play Mortal Kombat II but those machines were already being played on by groups of bigger