I never quite got Skyrim. I'm a Morrowind nerd, yeah, sure, we're all very certain of that, but it's not my pining for the old days that meant the game never sat right with me. What was it? The slightly floaty combat? The streamlined skill system?
No. It was the fact that it never let me annihilate a mudcrab with a DP-27 light machine gun using 7.62x54mmR rounds, sending it speeding at 400 miles per hour across a lake surface and into the waiting arms of God.
Luckily, someone has solved that problem. Skyrim WW2 Overhaul is, well, just what it says: a mod that cuts Skyrim's plinky, do-nothing civil war that consists of four Norwegians smacking each other in a field and replaces it with the most destructive conflict in human history. Specifically, it turns it into the Eastern Front, turning Imperials and Stormcloaks into the Red Army and Wehrmacht (which is which depends on the flavour of mod you download).
It is, and I do not mean this ironically, fantastic. It's mashed-together chaos, of course. The mod's attempts to simulate real-life WW2 guns like the MP 40 and PPSh-41 relies on a very hacky adaptation of base-Skyrim's crossbow mechanics. Shooting anyone is a kind of recoil-less raspberry spray of inadvisably damaging bullets that will continue until the game's decided it's time for a reload and starts an 8-second animation of your character gently caressing the machinery of death. You cannot, so far as I can tell, reload when you want, only when the mod decides it is time. Which is appropriately totalitarian of it.
But what you get out of these various bodges of Skyrim's usual systems is genuinely fun and supremely chaotic. Once I'd emerged from the ruins of Helgen alongside Hadvar, now a senior officer in the Red Army, I was plunged right into Operation Uranus. The trees bristled with Germans, the air was a clatter of gunfire and grenade explosions, NKVD Border Guards with SVT-40s gave me the stink-eye over the top of their immaculate moustaches. Every so often
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