Crusader Kings 3 finally gets its most hotly demanded feature in years: an authentic male pattern baldness system

pcgamer.com:

Crusader Kings 3's latest DLC, Legends of the Dead, arrived last Monday, bringing with it new legend mechanics that let your characters live on after death. But whatever, frankly, because it was accompanied by a free patch that finally introduced the game's most long-sought-after feature: functional male pattern baldness.

CK3's 1.12.1 «Scythe» update dropped Monday, and has «Added balding hairstyles and a system for male pattern baldness. Characters have a baldness value in their DNA which affects the age at which (male) characters start losing their hair.» That means god now rolls a die for every baby boy to determine if and when their follicles will start giving up.

I had a play around in CK3's ruler designer, and found that—unlike other cosmetic functions in the game—this one doesn't seem to be tied to a particular trait (like «Beautiful» or «Giant»). Instead, it's hidden away in the many strings of code that define your character, like face shape or eye colour. On the plus side, that means the trait is purely cosmetic, and isn't accompanied by any kind of malus to your stats. 

On the downside, it also means no bonuses. From Jean-Luc Picard to Vladimir Lenin, everyone knows bald men naturally exude power, but that's tragically unreflected in the hard numbers of CK3's myriad systems.

Believe it or not, Crusader Kings players really have been after this feature for years. Here's a bald player lamenting the lack of representation all the way back in 2020. Here's another perplexed by the feature's absence in 2022. Here's a guy who seems more animated about balding suzerains than I've ever been about anything in my entire life: «Give it to me Paradox you cowards. I wanna see my characters' hopes for graceful ageing be crushed not just in text but in looks, their fragile hairlines being destroyed one lock at a time.» You can rest now, Reddit user Osteraban, you finally got what you wanted.

So, yes, balding. Also, the patch has a couple hundred other bullet points