A list of stupid names for the Switch 2
polygon.comNintendo’s next console is upon us — ish? Dubbed the “Switch 2” by folks accustomed to Sony unimaginatively adding numbers to the end of PlayStation, the next iteration of Mario gaming hardware will reportedly arrive in 2025, after a shift in launch window. The delay leaves those who never dipped into the current-gen Nintendo catalogue with a tough decision: Buy a Switch now, or hold out for a Switch 2, whenever it actually hits shelves? Backward compatibility remains an unknown and not one of Nintendo’s historical achievements.
But as players who have long been glued to the drift-prone hybrid handheld, we have other questions on our mind. Mainly, what is Nintendo actually calling this thing?
Nintendo is not a company that iterates on the same concept over and over. It loves a gimmick, and those hard swerves have led directly to naming inspiration. A new gaming console that’s a cube? GameCUBE it is. A portable with a dual screen? Easy: Nintendo DS. Even 3DS and Wii U put a spin on familiar names based on new technology. Unless Switch 2 is a true successor console like Super Nintendo — and the original Switch might be perfect enough to demand such brand allegiance — the name of the device stands as basically unpredictable.
With that in mind, instead of trying to guess what out-of-left-field name Nintendo might pull out of its hat Cappy, we here at Polygon found ourselves spitballing everything the company almost definitely will not call the Switch 2. Below, we humbly submit a list of terrible next-gen console names for this coveted 2025 release. If any of these is the actual name of the console, the good news is, Nintendo has time to do even better.
Switch Off
2witch
Swiitch (pronounced: Sweetch)
Swiiitch (pronounced: Sweeeeeeetch)
SwUtch
Switch RT
Super Switch**
Super Switch Turbo**
Swtch
New Nintendo Switch Console
Nintendo Swap
Nintendo Click
Nintendo Stream
Nintendo Labwotch, the entirely cardboard handheld
Switch XXL
Switch+
Switch Too
Nintendo Too
SwitcherToo
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