Ranking Riverdale’s sexiest, deadliest, and most ridiculous moments
[Ed. note: This piece contains extreme spoilers for all of the very wild — and often very plot relevant — moments that made Riverdale such a delightfully unhinged piece of television.]
The world changed forever on Wednesday, Aug. 23, as Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa’s camp masterpiece Riverdale came to an end. The nostalgic finale played into the strangeness the show has always trafficked in, and had offered some pretty satisfying payoffs, too. Now that the entire seven-season masterwork is available on Netflix, it’s the perfect time to look back at what made Riverdale so special: the ridiculous storylines that have to be seen to be believed.
So we’ve done the hard work of finding the wildest Riverdale sequences and the shocking events they inspired, and we’ve ranked them using highly scientific techniques and fancy decimal points. Get ready as we break down the sexiest, deadliest, and most ridiculous moments from Riverdale.
An important note: There is a lot of crossover between these, so please go in with an open heart, open mind, and your most weirdo sensibilities front and center. Our unconventional ranking method reflects an attempt to mirror the depth and intricacy of any decision on Riverdale.
10a. When that didn’t work, Archie tried to get into the “family business.”
10b. Alas, he failed. So he tried to “make his bones” with the family mob business??
10c. In case you aren’t aware, that means he was willing to kill a man to get Hiram to like him.
9a. Don’t judge her, it was an initiation to join the Southside Serpents gang!
9b. And yes, she did sing “Mad World” (the Gary Jules version) while doing the striptease.
8a. Yes, after his dad was shot, Archie brought together hot Riverdale teens to fight crime.
8b. They
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