Godzilla x Kong isn’t a movie, it’s a pro wrestling match

polygon.com:

I’m going to level with you: Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire might be the stupidest movie I’ve ever seen. Not the worst movie (that would be Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2), but very possibly the most absurd. I’m ashamed to tell my mother I saw it, for fear of a lecture about how she did not raise a dummy, and did not break her back putting me through school so I could sit through the giant-monkey-and-lizard movie, for money. But unfortunately for her (love you, Mom) she did put me through school to watch the giant-monkey-and-lizard movie, for money. So I did watch the stupid thing. And you know what? I’d do it again.

Godzilla x Kong (yes, it’s styled like that, like a streetwear collab) is beyond “good” or “bad” or “movies.” It’s an arena show, a pro wrestler shouting in the squared circle, thumping their chest and raising the jumbotron hype meter before doing their signature move. Through brutally efficient pacing that minimizes what the script doesn’t care about (people, mostly) and maximizes what it does (giant monsters doing wrestling moves), it constantly eschews connection in favor of escalation. It’s an achievement in absurd spectacle, a comically silly way to spend $135 million. I hope Warner Bros. keeps burning money this way.

This is the fifth movie in the MonsterVerse franchise, but The New Empire gets viewers up to speed immediately. The world has gotten weird since the events of 2021’s Godzilla vs. Kong. The Earth? She’s hollow, hiding an entire ecosystem of massive monsters. King Kong lives there now, and he’s lonely, longing for the company of other giant apes. Godzilla has become something of a roving protector of the planet, roaming the surface to destructively take on other, more destructive monsters (dubbed “Titans”), then pausing for naps in the Colosseum.

Godzilla still can’t stand Kong, but with Kong inside the Hollow Earth and Godzilla ruling its surface, a strange sort of balance is reached.

So Godzilla x Kong uses incredibly contrived