Starfield's pillow talk will make me swear a vow of space-celibacy

rockpapershotgun.com:

I hereby vow for all the world to see that when Starfield launches in September, I will do my damndest to avoid having any sex at all in Bethesda's spacefaring RPG. The North American ratings board have detailed the types of content which earned the game a Mature 17+ rating, including "suggestive material" in dialogue "after sharing a bed with characters". Oh no. The listing includes several examples of post-coital pillow talk, and they are about sexy as you would expect from the studio whose dialogue is best known for inadvertently spawning memes about mudcrabs and knee injuries.

Along with warning about the usual moral depravities of a Bethesda RPG—weapons, killing, blood, drugs, and stealing—the ESRB's Starfield listing reveals:

The game contains some suggestive material in the dialogue, and after sharing a bed with characters (e.g., "Life is a sexually transmitted disease that's a hundred percent fatal"; "I'm all for getting a little wild, but next time let's try it without the jetpacks"; "Talk about seeing stars, whew... that was amazing.")

And. I know we can't judge an entire game from three out-of-context examples. And. Sex certainly can be silly. But. I just. Don't want any of that from a Bethesda RPG. Ever. I will live in fear of accidentally having spacesex because I wasn't paying attention to my party when I rested. And when I figure out which galactic edgelord vomits up that "life is a sexually transmitted disease" line, they're immediately going out the airlock, just to be safe.

And yet, my brain is a nightmare machine tuned to create things that make me unhappy. So I offer the following as examples to encourage Bethesda to hire me for more horrible post-coital quips:

It's not that I think all video games