Muscle March needs a little more meat on its bones

destructoid.com:

Kusoge isn’t merely about bad games. I mean, it is. Kusoge is literally a Japanese portmanteau of “crap game.” However, it’s a term of affection. What would the world be without crap games? I shudder to think.

Muscle March is an example of this. When I first saw its Japanese trailer, my thought was “I need this.” Then it actually somehow got localized for WiiWare, and I quickly forgot it existed until the Wii Shop was about to shut down. The buzz around Muscle March seemed to die the instant people actually played it. As bonkers as its central theme and as sugar-charged as its energy, it all wears off fast.

Muscle March was initially conceived as an arcade game, and it shows. When I was in Japan, I played a game where you had to shut your bickering family up by slamming your hands down on a tea table controller. After a short while, you had to flip the table to do as much damage to the immediate area as possible. I was great at it! However, while it’s great for working out your frustrations, there isn’t a lot to it. And that’s sort of what modern Japanese arcade games have become, and that’s what Muscle March is.

First, you select your character, all of which have a bodybuilder’s physique. They’re buff, I guess, but have you seen these guns? I call them Super Soakers because they are quite efficient at making everyone in the vicinity wet.

Someone has stolen all the protein powder, and it’s your job to get it back. You start off by sprinting behind them in a conga line of other musclebound juicers, and you need to survive long enough to catch up. What’s threatening your existence? Walls. Luckily, the forerunner is flexing their way through them, and all you need to do is mimic their pose with the Wii Remote and Nunchuk.

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