I’ll never forget the Ninja Turtles’ hyper-realistic CGI genitals and neither should you

polygon.com:

This week’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhemmarks the seventh big-screen outing for Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, and Michelangelo, who never go on hiatus — the heroes in a half-shell have almost always had a TV show or comic keeping their turtle power going between movies.

And despite the quantity, TMNT has a property has a decent hit-rate for quality: 1990’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles goes way harder than anyone would expect, the sequel Secret of the Ooze is more cartoonish fun, 2007’s all-animated TMNT revived the thrills on a budget, and the Michael Bay-produced Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles at least nailed the casting behind some polarizing motion-capture-spirited CGI. With high marks thanks to a star-studded but still passionate creative team, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem should continue to evolve the franchise in the right direction.

Here’s the only thing: No feature-length or episodic TMNT saga will ever eclipse The Onion’s take on Ninja Turtles back in 2014. Today, whenever pop culture reminds me of the Turtles, I think of this video. It’s a joy and a curse. Once you see the imagery contained in the below video — nay, film — there is no unseeing it. There will be then and now. Michael Bay Gives Fans Sneak Peek At Ninja Turtles’ Hyper-Realistic CGI Genitals is a work of true comedy genius.

Released in July 2014, right around San Diego Comic-Con, The Onion’s Michael Bay Gives Fans Sneak Peek At Ninja Turtles’ Hyper-Realistic CGI Genitals was a spot-on parody of Entertainment Tonight or Extra segments filled with gushing praise and press-kit jargon. It was also an excuse for the artists at The Onion to add floppy penises to the Ninja Turtles.

“Everything we did was a headline that was