I could have described the multiplayer racing game Faaast Penguin a lot of ways. It is Fall Guys meets Snowboard Kids. It is Diddy Kong Racing but all the courses are water slides. It's Cool Runnings but there are 40 penguins instead of four Jamaicans. Okay, that last one is a bit of a stretch. But basically, yes, this brightly coloured free-to-play knockout racer feels like that one Super Mario 64 level where you race the big penguin down a slide, only this time there are a ton of other players trying to beat you to the secret shortcut. It's coming out next week.
Taking inspiration from the squabbling ruthlessness of real world penguins, players are encouraged to attack each other. By bouncing off your opponent's rubbery body you'll be launched into the air, gaining the height needed to reach some handy shortcuts. You'll also be able to activate a paraglider at some point (hello Mario Kart) and ride an Orca for a violent boost. "The outcome of the race remains uncertain until the very end!" say developers Historia.
You can play as a party of four, and there's crossplay with other platforms. I make the comparison to mass obstacle course knockout game Fall Guys mostly because these cartoonish flightless birds seem to have the same dinky, enthusiastic glee to them. That, and you can dress up your penguin in a bunch of different costumes, plus unlock emotes, which I'm guessing is the way this free-to-play racer aims to make money.
It comes out September 19th. "New courses and costumes will be added each season," say the developers, though it's not clear how long those seasons will last. They also add one last proviso: "An Epic Games account is required to play the game." An instant annoyance for some, I bet. But not a dealbreaker for me, I love penguins, and would never do anything to harm them.
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