Have you ever wondered what the Sonic gang will be up to when they're all grown up? Since they've been children for three decades now, we're unlikely to ever see this represented in the video games. Alas, Sonic is doomed to forever remain 15 years old, an eternity of high school.
But now, the blue blur is all grown up! And struggling to pay his bills. And in an unhappy marriage. And working in the gig economy. Thanks to an animated music video from The Chalkeaters, we can see Sonic take on his worst enemy yet - the hellscape that is living in 2022. Sadly, it doesn't look like he'll make it out of this one.
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The video is accompanied by a new Crush 40 track, Crushing Thirties, which sums up how much his life sucks right now. On top of a bunch of references to the games, we see that Sonic is lounging around the house as bills stack up - and even has a speeding ticket to pay off.
We get a glimpse of Sonic's in-universe Wikipedia page too, which says that Eggman is now too old to fight. Oh, and Omochao is straight-up dead. Nice one. It also notes that Sonic "doesn't want to go on adventure three anymore", a reference to the fact that we are never getting a sequel to the best Sonic game of all time.
Sonic is also working for a knock-off Uber Eats, called Eaty Feety. And given the Sonic community's penchant for uh, lewd art involving that area of the body, it's an image we could do without.
On top of that, we see what the rest of the gang is up to. Knuckles, who would now be in his thirties too, is working in maintenance and drinking on the job, whereas Tails and Cream are in dead end, soul-crushing office jobs.
It's a unique way to round off Sonic's birthday
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