This upcoming dating sim lets you romance household objects turned absolute fitties

rockpapershotgun.com:

I keep seeing those adverts for that Ray-Ban and Meta collaboration, where like, they're smart glasses that let you browse the web with your eyes? Anyway, yeah, they don't appeal to me at all. Not as much as "Dateviator" glasses, which come courtesy of Sassy Chap Games and their upcoming dating sim Date Everything! As the title suggests: you date everything, from kitchen sponges to lampshades, as they morph into absolute fitties once you've donned the special specs. It looks incredibly dumb but in the best possible way.

In what's been coined as a "sandbox" dating simulator, the game sees you explore a home from a first-person perspective and don the Dateviator glasses to chat up everyday objects. We're talking hoovers, cabinets, toasters, fridges - pop those glasses on and anything becomes 10/10 shaggable. While there's not much info on exactly why or how or who or what is going on, the devs do say there's a "critical path tying it all together", with all dateable objects having three "relationship resolutions": Love, Friend, or Hate. Imagine leaning in for a kiss with a nail clipper and getting pied. Unthinkable.

There are other tidbits of info, like there being 100 fully voiced dateable characters (things?) all voiced by strong voice actors from all sorts of games like Final Fantasy XV, Persona 5, HiFi Rush and more. Not to mention that the game will cater for a "wide array of player preferences and tastes", so everyone can get involved in… whatever this game is.

It has got me thinking, though. What household object in my home would I date? My coaster? My laptop sleeve? Truthfully, I think it would be my Sonic The Hedgehog lamp that isn't actually of the character Sonic, but just the words "Sonic The Hedgehog". Dear reader, what household object would you date? I am sure I won't regret asking you such a thing.

There isn't a release date yet, but you can follow the game over on Steam if you're curious.