The Authorities Need To Look Into The Creator Of Khezu

thegamer.com:

In Monster Hunter, there are three types of Wyverns: Goofballs, Ferocious Beasts, and Nightmares. Goofballs are low-threat monsters that typically have silly designs and gimmicky features, like Pukei-Pukei bug eyes and giant tongue or Kulu-Ya-Ku’s boulder that it carries around like a baby. Ferocious Beasts are the exact opposite of goofballs. These are noble monsters and apex predators that each have a presence that demands respect. They often resemble dragons or carnivores, like Rathalos, Zinogre, and Teostra.

And then there’s the Nightmares - disgusting abominations that never should have made it past the first pitch session. These nasty freaks are so painful to look at that it’s hard to even fight them properly. I feel like every time I hunt one I have to destroy my weapon and burn all my armor afterwards. Some monsters just should have never been born, and at the top of that list is Khezu - a Wyvern so vile it’s criminal. I mean it. I’m pressing charges on the creator of Khezu, whoever they are.

One look at Khezu tells you everything you need to know about this nasty little guy. It’s rubbery, pale white skin is slick with mucus and covered in patches of broken blood vessels. It has no eyes or face, just giant lips and a set of busted baby corn teeth at the end of its extendable neck. There’s no way around it: Khezu is a giant penis monster. Its head is a wrinkly penis that stretches to bite you, and its tail is another smaller and somehow more upsetting penis. It’s one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever seen, but as it turns out, the more you learn about Khezu the worse it gets.

Did you know that Khezu reproduce asexually? They paralyze other creatures and inject their young directly into their bodies while