When and where did the Steam demo for horror game New Life first find its way to me? When did its non-descript, black hooded protagonist first wriggle, with the transgressive delight of an unbidden slug between naked toes embarking on a 2am fridge odyssey, into the as yet uncolonised crevices of my ‘demos’ library? The specifics, I fear, are but the fumes of memories, lingering like armies of mice in trenchcoats at supermarket cheese sample platters, at once painfully obvious and immune to detection in their uncanny shroud of stifling human decorum. "For who is madder?!" I shout, in a normal and cool manner. "The mice - so very mad for cheese - or the madmen who screams ‘Mice! Mice!’ in the middle of the cheese aisle?!"
And if I can’t remember how it got here, how can I make it go away?
I no longer wish to play the demo for New Life, if indeed I ever did. I find its presence ugly in ways that transcend how naturally ugly it is, which is the very thing I think made me want to play it in the first place. I find its description deeply unnerving in its unadorned simplicity. "A creepy story about a guy," it begins. Immediately, I am beset by visions of Poe. Of Shelley. Of Lovecraft. Of Chambers. Of scholarly ink spilled in wasteful abandon, of frenzied efforts to elucidate and quantify the terror the dwells in every human heart. "What folly!" I spit between mouthfuls of Tesco brand choco hoops, helplessly watching the murky impostor milk dribble down my juddering chin, coagulating with my tears of enraged bafflement. "What utter madness!".
For what is all horror if not, in some small way, a creepy story about a guy?
"Immerse yourself in the dark adventure of a guy who suffers from depression and feels guilty. He never takes off his hood and always keeps his hands in his pockets," it continues. "Michael became disillusioned with life and decided to try to start his life over. To do this, he left the metropolis and a successful career, sold the house he inherited, and
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