The Batman is in theaters now but simply watching The Batman isn't enough for me. I need to be Batman. Well, that sounds a little too intense. I need to smell like Batman. After all, that's the first step to giving yourself over to a life of vigilantism, right? Thankfully, that's where Dr. Squatch comes in. The soap company offered up samples of its special The Batman soaps--one based on the Caped Crusader, himself, and the other on The Riddler. That means, for science, I was about to experience what showering like The Batman and his notorious foe was like.
The soaps are called The Batman Bricc and The Riddler Enigma and--supposedly--they are meant to be aromas that perfectly conjure up mental images of those characters. For Batman, one would assume that scent would be sweaty Batsuit, cave water, and vengeance. According to Dr. Squatch, though, this soap is «vigilant, mysterious, and enduring, just like a Squatch man should be.» To them, that particular scent is dark leather.
With literally any other Batman movie, where the suits often seem to be made out of molded rubber, I would have called foul. Honestly, though, that's what Robert Pattinson's suit looks like. So, in theory, they've nailed it.
In practice, though, I didn't really feel like Batman after I used it. Don't get me wrong, it's a nice smell, and I definitely felt cool doing away with the grit and grime like I was cleaning the mean streets of Gotham. I just didn't feel «sad vigilante taking his frustrations out on the criminal underworld» cool. In the long run, that was probably a good thing. After all, Batman does a lot of his prowling at night, and I like to sleep then. I'm not like billionaire Bruce Wayne, able to shun having a day job so you can moonlight
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