I Never Should Have Picked A Favorite Pokemon

thegamer.com:

We put a lot of pressure on kids to choose their favorite things. Before they even have a chance to develop a personality, we’re constantly asking kids to decide their favorites. What’s your favorite color? What’s your favorite food? Who’s your favorite Spice Girl/Jonas Brother/Teen Mom? We have a hard time relating to children because they don’t have jobs and haven’t yet learned to hate the government, so we quiz them about their favorite everything.

At a young age, I learned that it isn’t appropriate to say “I don’t know” when someone asks you about your favorites. I don’t actually have a favorite color, but when someone asks me, I feel obligated to pick one, so I say green. When you’re a gamer, everyone wants to know your favorite game, your favorite console, your favorite RPG, and of course, your favorite Pokemon. Long, long ago - five shitty presidents ago, in fact - I decided Umbreon was my favorite Pokemon, and I’ve regretted it ever since.

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Unlike the color green, Umbreon actually is my favorite. I love the mysteriousness of Dark-type Pokemon, and I totally vibe with Umbreon’s edgy, loner energy. I get a flutter in my heart when I see Umbreon. I feel connected to this Pokemon and I can confidently say it’s my favorite one, but I have to admit it’s become a bit of an obsession.

My home is overflowing with Umbreon merch. I’ve got t-shirts, plushies, posters, skateboards, slippers, and hats. I’ve got two Umbreon hoodies and an Umbreon onesie - yes, with the ears. I seek out Umbreon tat at every convention, card store, and hobby shop I visit. My thoughtful, generous family inundates me with Umbreon gifts on every holiday. The