Designing The Ultimate Pokemon Menu

thegamer.com:

We write a lot about Pokemon at TheGamer, which is how we're able to discover some secret, lesser known facts about the series. For example, did you know that many of the Pokemon we know and love are based on animals? You might not have noticed it the first time, but once you spot it, it's impossible to miss. For that reason, we decided to devise the ideal Pokemon menu for you all to enjoy. I've already tasted all of the starter trios to decide which ones would taste the best - we decided Kalos just about edges it, although Unova's Tepig was the best overall, and Sinnoh was the worst with all three inedible. Now, we're widening the net to the entire Pokedex to create the dream Pokemon menu even Gordon Ramsay would be proud of... before be called me a fucking useless twat and lobbed a Squirtle at my head.

Obviously Slowpoke tails. It couldn't be anything else, really. The concept of eating Pokemon is danced around a lot throughout the series, but a major plot in the anime and the games is that Slowpoke tails are delicious. It's kind of cruelty-free, too. The tails feel no pain and will grow back in due course. Slowpoke even evolves when a Shellder bites its tail - or would, if the Gen 1 games could support those kinds of evolutions. Unfortunately, the rest of the meal is not quite so cruelty-free.

Related: Who Would Be The Best Pokemon To Take On A Date?

Milcery is an obvious one, since you know, it's milk - but anyone who orders milk for a seven course meal probably wants their hard drive checking. Polteageist is a little better, but only just. For that reason, we're going to crush Cherubi and then ferment it until we get a delicious cherry wine.

In the starters meal (that's starters as in Pokemon, not as in potato