Anything with an Engine is anything but fun

destructoid.com:

This Weekly Kusoge comes courtesy of a request from Destructoid’s favorite child, Wes Tacos. I bring this up to drag out the fact that he’s an enabler. When kusoge has reduced me to a bitter husk of a human being, the intervention is going to be really awkward. I’ll point to him and shriek, “this is what you wanted, isn’t it!?” before diving out the nearest window and escaping back into the wilderness.

Anyway, I don’t know who Jimmie Johnson is. I thought he maybe made sausages, but then I realized I was just mixing together Jimmy Dean and Johnsonville brands. Try getting that association out of your head.

Turns out, he’s a NASCAR driver. I am both Canadian and a woman, so my only intersection with NASCAR has been to make the revelatory observation that they’re just driving around in circles. Luckily, Jimmie Johnson’s Anything with an Engine is a cart racer and doesn’t feature many cars of the NAS variety. Unfortunately, the new tracks for Mario Kart 8 just dropped recently and I’d much rather be playing that.

I’ve never really strayed far from the Mario Kart games. I think Wacky Wheels is the only other racer I’ve played, and I didn’t expect to make such a deep cut. I’m pretty sure I own various Sonic the Hedgehog racing games about six times each, but I’ve never played them. And yes, Crash Team Racing people, this is when your monocle pops off and falls into your wine glass because I’ve never touched them.

So, the closest I’ve come to a bad cart racing game is playing Mario Kart Wii with the motion controls on. It seems like its own little neighborhood of kusoge city. I could explore M&M’s Kart Racing or… Ew, there’s a Woody Woodpecker Racing. That sounds like the embodiment of everything I stand against.

James