I Had To Notice Magic's Crotch Flaps, And Now So Do You
If you've been online for long enough, you may have run into the concept of an ‘infohazard’, or information so heinous that simply knowing about it can be dangerous. While traditionally it's been attributed to things like how to make a nuclear bomb, Roko's Basilisk, or the McCollough Effect, there is another one lurking, sitting in relative obscurity for years.
Once you know it, your enjoyment of Magic The Gathering may warp and corrupt. You may no longer be able to look at each new set release without thinking ‘well, there it is’. Once you see it, you can never go back to the person you were before: Wizards of the Coast has been denying us Planeswalker Bussy for years.
RELATED: The Drippiest Planeswalkers In Magic The Gathering HistoryI was first exposed to this infohazard at the website entirely devoted to causing psychological distress: Twitter. User @robot_rad casually tweeted out on a fateful day in March that Planeswalkers almost uniformly have a flap of fabric over the crotch area. He provided four examples: Jace Beleren, Ral Zarek, Chandra Nalar, and Gideon Jura, all of whom have, as he called it, "the Wizards flap".
Looking through every Planeswalker card ever printed, there is a definite tendency for Wizards to hide the goods with an obtrusive tabard or loincloth. Ajani, Teferi, Tyvar, Basri, Calix, Dovin, Garruk, Jiang Yanggu, Koth, Ob Nixilis, Sarkhan, Tezzeret, Venser, and Xenagos all have tactically placed scraps of fabric to cover their modesties. Daretti even goes one step further and hides his cash and prizes in a mechanical spider. It's just not on, Wizards! The most egregious example by far is Karn. We've seen Karn's junk – or complete lack of a junk – on multiple cards, yet for Dominaria we had Karn,
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