All This New Final Fantasy 7 Stuff Isn't Weird Enough
Final Fantasy 7 is a weird-ass game. I think people forget that. Not only does it have one of the most unhinged bestiaries of any RPG—including an evil flying pumpkin called Dorky Face—but it's full of moments that are hilariously at odds with its serious, heartfelt plot. Tifa and Scarlet have a slap fight on top of a giant cannon. Red XIII somehow squeezes himself into a cute lil sailor suit and attempts to walk on two legs. Sephiroth pitches a ball of materia directly at Cloud's forehead and then flies away like Superman. Cloud rides a dolphin. Palmer flees from battle and is immediately run over by a truck. I could go on. It's a joyously quirky, idiosyncratic game, but everything I saw at this week's 25th anniversary stream was anything but. It's all so bland.
Related: Final Fantasy 7 Doesn't Get Enough Credit For Its Absolutely Unhinged Monster Designs
Final Fantasy 7 is weird, but it's funny too. Granted, a big part of that is the English localisation, which is notoriously riddled with errors and bizarre turns of phrase. But here's the thing: this comically inconsistent translation is all part of the original Final Fantasy 7 experience. It might be the result of the localisation team (if it even was a team) being rushed, poorly managed, or underfunded—but it's accidentally brilliant. There are hundreds of people to talk to in this game, and they're all total weirdos. A lot of JRPGs have deeply uninspiring NPC dialogue. "Oh my, there are so many monsters outside the village walls!" That kind of thing. But FF7 doesn't have any of that. Just about everyone you bump into, in every corner of the world, has something interesting, odd, or offbeat to say.
'Bad' localisation or acting can be an important part of the
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