Stop What You’re Doing And Play Trombone Champ Immediately

thegamer.com:

There have been many music simulation games over the years. Guitar Hero, Rock Band, SingStar. All of them pale in comparison to the marvel that is Trombone Champ. You don’t need any silly plastic peripherals for this one, or even any real musical ability,you just need the will to strive for greatness.

Okay, hyperbole aside, Trombone Champ is ridiculously fun. Shout out to PC Gamer for bringing this game to my attention. It starts with an absurdly over-the-top intro that gives you your goal: become the Trombone Champ.

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The videos posted by people online look silly, but nothing prepared me for actually controlling the trombone myself. Watching the avatar - which looks like a tortured Mii, trapped in trombone purgatory - writhe as I shot my mouse up and down trying desperately to hit the notes had me in stitches, even as I was missing all my cues.

The game starts with a warm-up, but I only managed a B on my first try - a rating I actually think was very generous. The first song has one difficulty star out of ten, but the next immediately jumps to three. They also have stats such as Tears, Spunk (tee hee), Doots, Slides, and, hilariously, Fury.

As I prepared my lips for a rendition of Take Me Out To The Ball Game that would go down in history as one of the greatest, the loading screen told me the uncomfortable fact that two to four spiders - on average - live inside a trombone. Great, now I’m, worried about inhaling one. I’m sure this won’t affect my performance.

During this song, I managed to hit a couple of perfect notes - I must be a virtuoso - and the screen shook as a baseball smashed into it. It was jarring, but a nice touch that added some atmosphere to the track. The PowerPoint style