The latest Elden Ring speedrun world record is less than 10 minutes now. It involves a metronome, absolutely no fighting, and, in the final seconds of the run, a player torn apart by one of the game’s final bosses. It is deeply silly, and I love it.
Distortion2, a popular Soulsbornespeedrunner, has claimed the world record in Elden Ring’s any% unrestricted category with a time of 8 minutes and 56 seconds. I’ve been paying decently close attention to Distortion2 and his Elden Ring speedrunner colleagues, fairly certain of what to expect in this nearly 9-minute speedrun. But I started screaming excitedly in the first seconds of the speedrun when Distortion2 shot out of the starting area and bypassed the grafted scion boss, the mandatory death, and all of the Limgrave area to appear unharmed in Stormveil Castle. Shenanigans were afoot.
Elden Ring world records have changed dramatically in the last month. Back in March, I was picking my jaw off the floor from runs completed in under an hour. Runners were teleporting to the final dungeon in the opening minutes of the game using wrong warp glitches and beating bosses with the massively overpowered Hoarfrost Stomp weapon ability. When FromSoftware depowered Hoarfrost Stomp in a patch, runners lamented the death of the any% category, believing it’d be a while before glitch hunters and speedrun routers would find a speedy alternative to take down the game’s punishing bosses.
They did, finding a glitch so powerful it would completely eliminate the need to fight bosses at all. The way to a sub-10-minute fightless speedrun involves tweaking the game’s graphic settings and using a metronome to execute what’s known as a zip glitch. Runners turn down Elden Ring’s graphics to their
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