Why Don't We Have Muppet Remakes Of All The Disney Films?
These days, Disney owns absolutely everything. It might even own me. I mean, I’m gay, but Disney has supported, acquired, promoted, and profited off queer content previously despite supporting the Don’t Say Gay bill, so you can’t rule it out. It’s difficult to see an upside to that level of ownership - sure, Simpsons, Star Wars, Marvel, and all the Fox movies are in one handy place on Disney+, but there are so few places for independent creativity these days, and it’s only getting worse.
However, I have something to make it all better: The Muppets. The Muppets will not save us as capitalism burns the world, but they might entertain us while we dance in the flames.
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The Muppets have been going steady for quite some time now. Though they’re no longer at the ‘every lunchbox in the country’ level of saturation, their recent movies have been star studded relative hits, and have garnered positive reviews without ever becoming ‘must see’ smash hits. They’re fine. But they’re a far cry from The Muppet Christmas Carol or Muppet Treasure Island. They’re just The Muppets Do Stuff, and that’s not particularly inspiring.
Public domain stories remain an option, but not one The Muppets have explored for a long time. A fan script for The Great Muppet Gatsby exists. Tom Sawyer, Don Quixote, and Dracula are all right there in the public domain, and they have a ready-made Dracula in the Count - although let’s be honest, they’d still have it be Kermit.
This is an old idea, hence the fan script. My proposal is slightly different, and it came to me during a drunken, late-night conversation with a friend, which is where all the best ideas come from -
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