TheGamer's Biologist Explains Why Pokemon Scarlet & Violet’s Fidough Is Busted
Fidough is a biological weapon. This Pokemon, revealed in today’s Pokemon Presents, is a Fairy-type puppy made of dough. It looks cute, like a dog with doughnuts stuck on its head - goofy, charming, adorable. It’s the standard fare for a cutesy dog Pokemon - just take a look at the likes of Yamper and Rockruff and you’ll see what I mean.
The problem is that living with a Fidough would be hell on earth. And not just because you’d end up craving baked goods 24/7. According to the official Pokemon Scarlet & Violet website, Fidough has the odd ability to make things ferment using the yeast in its breath, and it’s protected by humans who find this helpful in the kitchen. Let’s take a quick look at why this is awful, actually.
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Judging by the fact that Fidough is based on bread, let’s be generous and assume that the yeast it breathes is saccharomyces cerevisiae, also known as baker’s yeast. Here’s the thing about yeast - it is a living microorganism. Fidough, acting as a vector for yeast traversal, has what is essentially a parasite growing inside its lungs or, more likely, along its tracheal walls. That’s horrific.
Second, how much yeast do you think is expelled in a single Fidough breath? It’s not going to be much unless it’s hacking up entire clumps of the stuff. No, it’ll be trace amounts at best. And humans are using Fidough to bake bread? Yeast works by consuming carbohydrates and releasing carbon dioxide; these pockets of gas create the rise in a loaf of bread. When I bake big loaves of bread, I use sachets of baker’s yeast that weigh seven grams. That’s a standard amount of yeast.
These monsters are forcing their Pokemon to sit there breathing into
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