The Next Mario Sport Game Should Be Rugby And You Can’t Convince Me Otherwise

thegamer.com:

Mario is quite the sportsman. Over the years he’s proven himself more than capable at playing tennis, golf, baseball, football, basketball, and almost every Olympic and Winter Olympic sport at a professional level. Its really very impressive that a full-time plumber, carpenter, doctor, boxing referee, and Koopa murderer even has the free time to learn the rules of all these sports.

However, there is one sport that I have always felt would be the perfect fit for the Italian – the gentleman’s game, rugby union. The inhabitants of the Mushroom Kingdom have taken to the rugby pitch to play sevens at the 2020 Tokyo Olympic Games, but they’ve never gotten to play traditional rugby.

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They say rugby is a game for all shapes and sizes and what series has more characters of varying body types than Mario? Depending on which fan wiki you ask, there are somewhere around 700 unique named characters in the Mario universe and between all of them you can fill out several well-balanced teams of backs and forwards. It’s all rather obvious; Luigi and Daisy on either wing, Donkey Kong would make a robust number eight, a half-back pairing of Toad at nine and Mario at ten would be deadly, Bowser and King Boo are props if I have ever seen two, Wario is obviously a hooker, any of the Koopa kids have the strength to operate in the second row, with Rosalina and Pauline have the height to be great wing-forwards, Yoshi and Birdo would make great centres and Waluigi clearly is a fullback who doesn’t do much but will take all the glory come try time.

It even works once you get to the officials and coaching staff. F.L.U.D.D. is a literal waterboy, Goombas and