In their quest to complete just one tab of Old School RuneScape's herculean item collection log, one MMO player has robbed the members of a notorious cult of racists 500,000 times and looted an impressive collection of chickens, shrimp, daggers, axes, and much, much more.
OSRS player eat_my_yarmulke has shared their accomplishment with the MMO's community earlier this week, inviting the sort of warm, supportive reception I've come to expect from r/2007scape members. "Ignore the positive comments," reads the top-voted reply. "But... why?" asks another. "I think you need to check yourself into a psych ward, this is too much," adds one onlooker.
So, why did they do this? There are two main reasons. Firstly, eat_my_yarmulke is playing an Iron Man OSRS account (with a self-imposed skilling restriction), meaning they can't trade with other players. This is important because, secondly, it means they'd need a good and self-sustainable source of easy clue scrolls, which are like little mini-quests that award a chest of loot from a set pool, if they want to get all the possible easy clue rewards to tick off the matching collection log. As you may have gathered, they did want that – enough to spend "like 100 hours" stealing from racists.
Who was on the pocket end of all this pickpocketing? That would be the HAM group – that's Humans Against Monsters – which comes up in a few OSRS quests. What's my defense against a libel lawsuit from HAM, you ask? First of all, that is a brand-new sentence. And as the OSRS wiki notes, HAM members discriminate against humanoids like dwarves and gnomes, and actively push for the slaughter of races they believe to be monstrous or beneath humans. In one quest, for instance, HAM members seek to eradicate a tribe of intelligent and reasonable goblins, nearly martyring the player's goblin friend Zanik in the process.
HAM members suck, in other words, so they had this theft coming. In total, eat_my_yarmulke's justified but stolen haul included
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