Review: Dialtown: Phone Dating Sim
I guess I’m getting sort of a reputation. When I notified the composer of Dialtown: Phone Dating Sim that I picked it up for review, he responded by saying “we appreciate you checking it out since you’ve reviewed other dating sims in the past!” So? What of it!? What are you implying?
Yes, I am Destructoid’s resident dating sims expert, but Dialtown kind of entices me with a different set of possibilities. I looked at the screenshots provided in the press release and calling it a “dating sim” is implying that’s the main draw. No. Dialtown is a wreck. It’s like finding your kitchen has been ransacked by children and they’ve taken all your eggs and pancake mix to create some sort of horrible batter golem. Your first thought isn’t likely to be “how does it taste,” but rather “what have you done!?”
Dialtown: Phone Dating Sim (PC)Developer: DirectDoggoPublisher: DirectDoggoReleased: February 14, 2022MSRP: $7.99
You are a green-skinned, six-nippled cryptid that needs a date to get into the funfair and lay your eggs in a squalid hole. Coincidentally, Dialtown is about exactly that. Hoooo Swish! You’re left to wander the town, searching for anyone desperate enough to want to date a freak like yourself.
That’s true romance, isn’t it? We drift along until we find someone who’s maybe sort of tolerable and can overlook our excessive flaws. Then we latch onto them and suck them dry like disease-spreading parasites. If you think about it, marriage is just a way to add legal repercussions in case someone tries to get away. A holy union. One that reeks of desperation when you really consider the implications.
Anyhow, Dialtown is a dating sim of the “romantic visual novel” variety, and it’s really tempting to throw “romantic” into another
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