Crime Boss: Rockay City hands-on – a '90s fever dream FPS heist 'em up that's as wild as it is weird
The plan in this Crime Boss: Rockay City four-player co-op mission was to stealth our way into a warehouse, stuff as many vacuum-packed bags of pills into our carryalls, peg it to the getaway van, and drive off into the sunset. I say was because that plan went to shit almost immediately. One of our crew members was spotted while ducking behind a dumpster (it wasn't me, I swear), which led to a brutal firefight that we scraped through by the skin of our teeth. Our dreams of Ocean's Eleven quickly made way for something more reflective of Guy Ritchie's back catalog, as we shouted expletives aloud in real life and shot blindly at trigger-happy villains in-game.
The plan now is to survive the waves of absolutely livid cops closing in around us – armed with shields and machine guns; jumping out of patrol wagons and rappelling from choppers – and make off with whatever loot we can still salvage. If we fail, we'll be taunted by police force leader Chuck Norris, and cursed by our boss Michael Madsen. Later, Vanilla Ice will goad us on the other end of a Motorola DynaTAC 8000x, aka those larger-than-your-head early cell phones, and Michael Rooker will rally the troops in typically unhinged fashion. Crime Boss: Rockay City is wild and weird, unashamed of its inspirations, and unafraid to lean into the spectacle that underpins just about everything it does.
I had fun going hands-on with the 90s-set, B-movie-aping FPS-meets-action strategy game. But my one lingering question is: who is Crime Boss: Rockay City actually for?
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I was born in the mid-80s and grew up with films like Heat, Ronin, the Usual Suspects, and the straight-to-VHS Back to Back. I used my pocket
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