The Army Men rollercoaster is a ride I’m very familiar with. Wait, “roller coaster” is maybe a bit too generous. What is mostly down rather than up? A log flume. I’m very familiar with the Army Men log flume. I can assure you, there is a high and a lot of lows as you get splashed in the face with gross amusement park water. I’ve covered some of the lows, but how about we climb the conveyer belt to take a good look at the parking lot.
In terms of the series’ majestic views, Army Men Sarge’s Heroes is what I typically peg as the best. It was decent but janky on the N64. While the cameraman is a drunken hog, the level design is pretty fly, the gameplay is uneven but fun, and the concept itself is a winner. Weirdly, it was revisited on the Dreamcast, the only Army Men title to land there. It took what might be the best Army Men game and made it better.
Importantly, Army Men Sarge’s Heroes is a port of the N64 version. There was another version released on PS1 and PC which was substantially different and tangibly not as good. The only benefit in that version that doesn’t land on the Dreamcast is pre-rendered cutscenes. The N64 used poorly pantomimed cutscenes, and the port carries them over, including their strange motion quirks. The cutscenes are voiced over now, but it would have been nice to have the nicer pre-rendered ones.
Aside from that, it’s the N64 version. Helmed by Michael Mendheim, his idea for the series was to introduce a more character-based framework. True to its name, this was the title that introduced mainstay protagonist Sargeant Hawke and his company of… heroes. All of them were voiced by Jim Cummings. Many future games in the franchise would revolve around these characters; everything from Army Men: Air
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