2004’s Catwoman belongs in the litter box

destructoid.com:

Movie-licensed games have long been given a bad rap, but to be fair to them, that’s only because they’re usually bad. This goes back to the ‘80s, with some of the earliest video games to hit the market. I don’t have an explanation for why these titles are often bad. The fact that they have to be rushed to meet the same release date as the movie certainly does no favors. However, my theory is that, when a game already has advertising that comes from a larger industry, why even bother trying to make it good? It’s going to sell on recognition alone.

With that in mind, here we have 2004’s Catwoman, based on the film starring Halle Berry. It has the distinction of being based off what is considered by some to be one of the worst big-budget films of all time. It would be really ironic if this game turned out to actually be good!

It’s not.

I’ve never seen Catwoman, and I’m going to be honest with you, I don’t really want to. I prefer the Catwoman that was pushed out a window by Christopher Walken in the holiday classic Batman Returns. The movie apparently focuses on a woman named Patience Phillips who’s killed by her boss in a different way. However, a cat revives her, and that makes her a cat woman for some reason. Neat how that works. When someone is resuscitated by mouth-to-mouth, does that turn them into The Human Kiss?

Catwoman actually starts with the titular zombie breaking into a jewelry store. Except there are already people there. So after a non-lethal takedown of the thugs, the police roll up, give Catwoman five seconds to surrender, then just light the place up with a torrent of gunfire. To be fair to the police, there were gunshots before they arrived. However, I’m not sure how they’re going to explain that to the