Splatoon is the video game version of those ASMR-like ‘oddly satisfying’ videos

techcrunch.com:

Splatoon is a simple game: you’re a squid- or octopus-like humanoid in a post-apocalyptic world, and all you wanna do is shoot people with colorful ink and buy cute outfits. I had never played a Splatoon game before Splatoon 3 was released last week, but my friends were all hyping it up, so I jumped in. There’s not a ton of backstory to catch up on in this third installment — just accept that you’re a squid now.

It’s been about a week. Reader, I am hooked. I simply cannot stop splatting. I don’t even like shooter games — I don’t need more gun violence in my life, even if it’s fictional and contained to a Nintendo Switch screen — but Splatoon is different.

In the main mode of play, called Turf War, you’re split into two teams of four with other online players. Each team has its own color ink, like a bright Nickelodeon orange, a greenish-yellow that looks like toxic waste, or a purple color that matches The Verge’s redesign. Over the course of three minutes, it’s your team’s goal to cover as much territory as you can with your color ink.

There are different types of weapons — some guns that shoot out small amounts of paint, but can easily kill splat your enemy, sending them back to their home base. There are bombs that you charge up by saying “Booyah!” — which, by the way, is one of only two phrases your character can say in-game, with the other being the less delightful “This way!” There’s also a crab tank, and… I don’t know what to tell you. It’s a crab tank.

Personally, I’m a fan of the roller-style weapons, where you simply push a paint roller around and run over your enemies. The rollers are great for someone like me, who is not dexterous enough to aim a paint gun. But the real reason why I am so committed to the roller