They Don't Make Games Like Naughty Bear Anymore
Imagine going to a boardroom of big-wig CEOs at Sony and slamming down a design document screaming, “We’ve got an idea!” Fuck yeah, we do - a teddy bear with a machete cutting the literal stuffing out of some bitches. Buckle up, buddy, it’s time to get naughty.
Naughty Bear is a ridiculous game even by the PS3’s ‘anything goes’ standards. Someone took a look at LittleBigPlanet’s cutesy sack world and said, “What about that, but Friday the 13th?” I am so happy they did. It’s incredibly simple - a basic idea brought to life. What if we took a teddy bear and made them a mass-murdering slasher villain? These days, you’d be laughed out of the room. There’s no grit, no oomph to that story, and no revolutionary gameplay hook. But that doesn’t matter.
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You can have your God of Wars, your Last of Us’, and other gritty tearjerkers, but a close-up kill-cam of a pissed-off teddy bear shoving their machete through an innocent cartoonish fluffy friend is pure, unfiltered fun. I like my games somber and lonely, long and treacherous, and rich with meaning. It’s artsy fun. But for every Oscar-bait film, I also like a stupid ‘80s horror about some idiot in a mask with a knife.
The catalyst for Naughty Bear’s story is that you don’t get invited to a birthday party. Any other kid would cry to mommy and that’d be the end of it. But not Naughty (yes, you’re called Naughty). No, they decide to grab a machete and go on the hunt. The idea is innocuous and would likely make for an interesting kid’s show - a teddy bear gets scorned by their friends and becomes an outcast.
It sounds like the start of a wholesome adventure, not a slasher spree. That’s what’s so special about it. And that
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